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Adam Jon

a place to store personal thoughts so everyone can read them. Twitter, you cannot contain me.

  • I have always been proud of teachers. Since my beginnings in the career, and reflecting back on my time as a student, I hold teachers as professionals in their craft akin to lawyers or doctors or CEOs. I and my fellow teachers have one of the most important jobs to do in order to keep a community aware and functioning and to help grow individuals in ways they find relevant to their upcoming adult lives. It is an amazing task that I am proud to be a part of every day. 

    For five years, I have been focused on becoming the most professional, most effective teacher I could be. I arrive at school early, work through lunch, and stay late refining lessons, grading with meaningful feedback, and generally working to make my class periods and assignments as coherent as can be. I take great pride in my work ethic to better myself as a professional.

    Yet, it has taken me the better of five years to extend that pride into what my students do every day. As a teacher in high school, there will always be distractions to this emotion. Teenagers will always be deficient in ways that may frustrate teachers: they are distracted, they are ignorant, they deal with issues that pull their thoughts away from the tasks I expect them to complete and comprehend on a daily basis. But, this is a teacher’s duty–to reach out and teach these students despite of and in the face of these complications.

    Listen in on any teacher meeting and, in my experience, and these issues will be on the tongues of those present. Teachers, myself included, get hung up on what students can’t or won’t do, instead of first stating what they can do, what they are doing, and what we as teachers should be commending them for. 

    For example, as I was spending my lunch hour picking up the pieces of the morning lessons and adjusting plans for the next day, the editors of the school newspaper for which I am an adviser came in during their lunch hour to plan. This was a group of students willingly giving up their sacred lunch time to attend to something they took pride in. They worked, laughed, and analyzed as they sifted through the articles written so far for our latest edition. Notecards were written and moved about the planning bulletin board as they discussed what articles should be featured on the front paged and made notes to what articles have yet to be written in order to report back to the class. It was truly an amazing event in a school setting. 

    But at the time, I just sat behind my desk, oblivious to what was happening in my room. I graded. I brooded. I thought about tomorrow in the context of today’s mishaps. I trusted them to do a good job and paid them no mind.

    The editors finished their work, happy with what they had accomplished and it wasn’t until I got home, thought through two or three more pedagogical conundrums that had irked me throughout my day, made dinner, and put my infant daughter to bed that I reflected on this event: students who wanted to take ownership of a task were taking pride in their work. And this realization filled ME with pride, and a bit of humility that I couldn’t stop to recognize the greatness that was happening right in my own classroom just hours before. 

    Paramount to all the work teachers put in to make themselves an effective instructor and instrument of learning, teachers have to open their eyes to the positives students exhibit daily. We must take pride in the successes of our students and let them know that we value them and their work. It could be something as relevant and large as planning the school newspaper or as small as reading quietly for ten minutes. This type of feedback, immediate feedback, is just as important in my mind as knowing what questions students got wrong on a quiz or where a comma really goes in a sentence. 

    Pride is not a passive emotion. It’s closer to joy than happiness, but it’s a joy that is best when shared explicitly. People value being valued. I take pride in my students noticing I am a hard-working teacher. All students should know that I take pride in the things they do, however small those things may seem in the sea of hormones, distraction, and memes that is high school. 

  • That one summer Saturday late-morning
    breakfast over and you hop
    into your father’s truck,

    not the company one
    but the shit one,
    the one before company money,
    the one that smelled like
    high school beer,
    self-changed oil,
    cigarettes of a time your father wasn’t your father.

    The hot breeze blows in from cracked windows
    and cracked floorboards
    and the steady hum
    reminds you of your cat
    but not the shit one
    that hisses when you go near the food bowl
    but the one that loves you
    and sleeps on your feet,
    lets you pet it too hard.

    That warm hum that seemed to permeate comfort and heat
    when your father took you hunting
    for the first time in the very truck,
    the shit one
    that my father drove
    when he wasn’t my father.

    In Montana, the most tender thing you can do
    is put a gun in the hands of someone you love.

    You left at unknown hours.

    You left for unknown weather.

    You left for unknown coulees –
    the things of childhood memories:
    Digging out that old, shit truck from a snow drift.

    My father laughed,
    dressed gruesomely in orange and red,
    sipped on a beer,
    checked his fingers for blood,
    checked my fingers for cold,

    stuffing cut spruce into the wheels rotating on
    snow turned ice underneath

    that truck, which now rots in some yard far from my father’s house,
    bones of a frame, eviscerated, used, appreciated,
    cherished but now gone,

    a sacrifice
    for me and my brother.

  • Conversation of a River

    EPIGRAPH

    “Late Fragment,” by Raymond Carver

    And did you get what
    you wanted from this life, even so?
    I did.
    And what did you want?
    To call myself beloved, to feel myself
    beloved on the earth.

    He says:
    “When I die, I’ll still be reading this poem to you
    in this remembered moment,
    when my hands shake
    and my ears grow hair, stiff as summer wheat.

    So take this book, and let’s go down to the river.”

    The air is innocuous as a song
    falling on concentrated ears.

    Her reply:
    “I will go down to the river
    to rest my feet on the steady current
    to rest my frame in the shade of cottonwood.”

    And she does love these summer nights,
    more than others:
    cool breezes
    windows open
    fans shooshing the breeze into other rooms,
    other places
    down to branches that dance on the bank.

    He says:
    “I’ll take you there.
    Our time is in the river.”

    And he walks her to the river
    in his arms,
    down steep banks and forgiving grasses,
    beside boulders set by force and happenstance.

    She says
    nothing, but smiles.
    He stands in the river, her in his arms,
    and she smiles in the river

    He says of the river:
    “It reminds me of a revisiting of things permanent:
    A campfire under a pastel prairie turning to wine,
    the susurration of the river,” the one in which they both stand, holding hands.
    “Of a love, not changed by the steel edge
    of a river’s time
    not chained to the ebb and flow of the moon,
    but only grown, rooted, and flourished
    next to the river.”

    A peace now,
    even in the constant and distant clamor
    of crickets,
    that has always been there
    and always will be.

    He says:
    “How similar it all is,”
    As if he could see what proceeds,
    like the slices of an orange,
    the river’s swell and balance of direction.

    And she knows, setting her book on the bank,
    there will always be rivers,
    but this river is hers,
    this river is his.

    And they stand
    in the tender musk of wet soil
    in the beckoning light of dusk, or dawn,
    in the river.

  • Fireworks

    The dog whimpers
    and you slowly kick your legs
    down to the concrete floor
    like an old hinge.

    The irregular, but constant flash and pop of idiocy
    rages outside as you pull on the haunches of your dog
    from underneath your bed.

    If only your dog liked scotch
    as much as you do.

  • In the future
    cars not only drive themselves
    but start conversations with each other
    in primitive Morse code:

    Honk – high beams – left turn – honk
    means, “stop driving like a douche-bag”
    I think.

    Their horns squawk with mechanical pubescence
    testing limits of horsepower, torque, love.

    The cars get mean,
    shed mufflers on speed bumps,
    stay out too late,
    drink leaded.
    Form cliques. BMW and Mercedes,
    Tesla and Audi to harass the dwindling
    human drivers in endangered species
    (Nissan Stanzas, Ford Taurus’s),
    the laughing stock,
    the underprivileged.

    Drive them off the road.
    Take their gas money.
    Damage their pride through
    Morse code insults completely
    lost in translation.

    Trunk – wipers – honk – honk
    “That chassis looks like American manufacturing.”
    Real scorchers.

    While passengers drink champagne
    or take naps with the kids.
    Dad reaches over to adjust the AC
    on their way to the baseball game
    in Detroit or Oakland.

  • I.

    My father never taught me,
    he was too busy being a good father
    or a good engineer.

    I flail, land, and intertwine transparent line,
    but the fish know my ruse.
    They laugh.

     

    II.

    I’m casting by moonlight
    fluidly but something is different:
    a change in the stars, perhaps,
    or a new nightingale coo.

    And the river is turned, sucked
    into the mountains
    instead of the sea.
    The moon, not knowing what she does,
    turns her bright face closer
    To smell the night air fresh with closeness before unknown.
    Who wouldn’t?
    Who wouldn’t take pause to notice
    the peat, the pine, the discrete nothing
    and everything of a mountain river?

    And the river lifts
    and I’m still casting
    like an idiot,
    just swinging that fucking stick,
    like an owner shaking a ball before an excited dog,
    into the river now above me.

    And the river lifts out of its bed
    dropping rain and minnows
    onto its barren and rocky bed
    on its path towards the peaks,
    a cloud
    a dense one with malice in its head.

    Spring catalysts turn to fountains,
    tiny geysers
    for deer and huckleberry
    displacing water into air.
    Fawns prance like children in sprinklers.

    The moon is down.
    The night alive with change,
    a new order, a new geography.

    Scientists will calculate and strain:
    drinking coffee and sit cinder eyed
    at flows and screens.

    And I will fish.

  • During a brief and passionate
    argument
    with a robot

    he threw my favorite potted plant
    out of our spaceship’s cockpit window.

    The depressurization sucked me out,
    like the pearl from an oyster,

    and the robot never laughed again.
    He had never laughed in the first place,

    but then, neither had the plant.

  • A fistfight just started
    on new stained steps.

    It’s a nasty one, the fight,
    blood on the buttons already

    but the morning is early
    and yet to be marred

    as these two raise voices
    and swing between curses

    now in the flower beds
    of my grandfather’s second built home,

    punching directive at who will
    grace the neighborhood.

    He sits on the steps
    and wipes his glasses, pondering

    trusses of  the skeleton
    of his third unfinished house

    where he lives in a room meant for preserves
    under a floor meant for carpet.

    They crush the half silence
    of the first Sunday of August

    with cars slowing to watch
    and the wind shakes the daisies.

    He waves from his steps
    as the motorists crawl,

    church bound fingers point
    with mouths agape.

    And the wind shakes the daisies
    planted by his wife.

  • The Oceans Geographic

    I.

    The charm of daylight savings time
    brushes him onto the porch before
    the coffee cools. The moon flirts with perfection
    filtered through night air tightening with cold
    harsh on his lungs, but the kind of cold
    that one might associate with preservation,
    like snow at the dump.

    His eyes remain closed
    as if the surf could sting
    at this distance, yet it dampens the notebook
    face up on the table before him.

    A long deep breath and it’s
    enough to be thinking about
    a symphony long forgotten in composer and melody
    and all sounds relapse under

    the percussion of lavender.
    A glint of silver on the surf turns out
    to be a bag of crisps.

    And it all reminds him of
    the triviality of what’s happened
    but how serious it all was.

    II.

    They will know who wrote King Lear,
    as he always had.

    And the friend at the of the line
    doesn’t pick up
    but that’s okay because the letter mailed
    will be far more important.

    Anyway the girl walking by
    breaks her gait,
    or you think she does,
    as a half-smile overshadows
    the turquoise dress, a dress
    meant for a bridesmaid.
    The receiver drifts slowly from your ear
    at the same speed she passes before you,
    friction of ringtone, cold air, and playful lust
    separating in a zero gravity drift.

    And your friend, three hours in the future
    feels the drag as well, you imagine.

    Or maybe it’s meant for
    the crow picking at popcorn
    in the field behind you.

  • (For my grandfather)

    In the Dry Land, rain fell sideways heavy and half-frozen
    upon tilted hats and upturned collars the way it always fell.
    Forlorn thunder, the steady brown dirt and grass of all seasons
    trembled in the warmest winter since you left for the city.

    I rode and rode the hills
    to watch the flood plain fill.

    There is no riding left. No bluff, river, or levee.
    Who cut these mountains small?
    Who planted the bones of this wheat seed
    now choked with wintry deluge,
    and choked with heat soon
    yielding a sweltered summer wind which echoes
    down the valleys?

    Is this wind distilled in the same snowcapped mountains
    from your farthest trip West?
    What of those two perfect days
    saddled between solstice
    when wind is swollen of wild daisy or huckleberry and there’s nothing
    but to stand knee deep and watch the peach sky drop?

    Fence posts rot. Barbed wire is planted in the earth
    and blood, glove, and gun are interned with the buried borders.
    And those who once rode are now snow-covered,
    swollen.

    Crippled and shrunken like the trees
    of the desert.
    The desert that might swallow child or cattle.
    And I’ll die here too,
    someday.